In one of my recent articles I discussed the benefits of adopting a Pollyanna attitude. But, what about the ugly side? What happens when positive thinking doesn’t work?
In my opinion positive thinking always works, because no matter what the situation, staying positive feels better than feeling depressed, defeated and hopeless. However, there may be some areas of your life where positive thinking is not yielding the results you planned for. Almost as if there are forces working against you in achieving your goals, whether it’s for financial success, weight loss, health, or attracting a love relationship or good friends. We’ve all seen it happen or experienced it in some area of our lives, no matter how positive we are or how hard we try, we just can’t get ourselves there.
There is Good News!
The reason this happens is because there is a subconscious program or belief below the surface that is in conflict or direct opposition to our conscious desires. Having a conflicting subconscious belief is like slamming our head against a brick wall over and over again and expecting different results, other than a black and blue face and a sore head! No matter how positive you stay, smashing your head against the brick wall with a giant smile on your face isn’t going to change the outcome!!!
In the book: Code to Joy by George Pratt, Ph.D. and Peter Lambrou, Ph.D, this experience is described as the story of the Elephant and the Flea, with the Flea being the conscious level of the mind and the Elephant being the gigantic Subconscious mind, in comparison. The flea decides it’s going to accomplish this or head in that direction and the Elephant is going the opposite way based on beliefs held in the subconscious mind about the nature of reality. The elephant knows (perception anyway) that going in the direction that the flea wants to go could cause pain, disappointment or even bodily harm. The flea doesn’t have a chance until it can “change the Elephant’s mind.” There’s no amount of muscle the flea can wield that will make a difference.
Does any of this sound familiar? It does to me.
There have been areas of my life where no matter how hard I tried, I could not make things happen or get myself to change a behavior. This is frustration personified.
But remember, the number one priority of the subconscious (Elephant) mind is to keep you healthy, safe and alive, this also means emotionally safe. All the elephant is trying to do is its’ job. Most often, the subconscious belief that is the culprit is based on experiences you’ve had long ago when you were a child and unable to filter or be discerning about what someone said to you or an impactful, seemingly emotional tragic experience.
The key here is to access this part of you and give it a new vision of what you are trying to accomplish, and making it clear to the “Elephant” that the behavior is blocking you and causing distress. Often, this is all it takes to get this very important part of you to work together with you towards what you are trying to accomplish instead of running the other way.
Hypnosis is a great way to make this happen, it works quickly and is usually a permanent, positive change.